Body count, is it how many people you've murdered or slept with? It's a taboo topic for some or an open conversation with others, but is our obsessiveness behind sex talk even relevant in our present relationships? As a society, we like to discuss the importance of body count as something that deems worthiness of a person or not. Through social media we see the way that men who sleep around want women who are "virgins". Women don't want to be with men who consistently have one night stands. Preference is viable, but when are we becoming unreasonable? Are we actually judging someone's competence? experience?
Sexual experiences are imperative in our human sexual growth. Allowing us to delve into avenues we simply can't do on our own. Because these involve other people in order for it to be an "experience", which also involves, at times in our lives, experiencing different people. This can help grow our sexual confidence, capabilities and overall self-esteem. But why are we so obsessed with that number associated with every person? Does it actually tell us a lot about an individual? We can attempt to judge a person off how much sex they've had, how many people they have interacted with sexually. But does that determine an individuals capability in the bedroom?
Is it important to know the number?
Blogs and articles will explain how body count is important to gage a persons sexual experience, what you should expect out of them but how true is that? If you get with someone with a body count of 12, but they were only sexually intimate for a long period with 2 of them, do those 10 one night-stands even class as part of their "competence"? Quality seems to be something we miss out on, we hyper-focused on the "that's a lot of people" rather than the quality of sex someone is having. If someone was to have sex only 12 times with the same person, but 12 times with different people, we all know one would be judged as showing more "competence" than the other. Yet, we know that sleeping with one person multiple times, adds more competence in our sexual abilities. But body counts tell us otherwise. When do we start asking about the quality of someone's experiences, what they have learnt versus the quantity, to be able to gage someone's actual "ability".
What is the big deal?
We now live in a society where we convey our sexual past a lot more freely. If someone is to be so concerned with someone's body count but be more so on the sexually promiscuous side of things, do they have a right? Maybe people are expressing an unwanted need met on their side? Unmet needs of maybe not experiencing their sexual desires but instead, expecting their partners to have. Seen through wanting a person to have only "meaningful" sex, or maybe they're just insecure...
However, if I was someone with a higher body count, would I really have a right to seek out someone with a low one? Why do we make such a big deal out of it? Inferiority is usually a big stance. This may hurt some peoples feelings, but all that an extra person is, is an extra person to compare to. But why do we compare? A feeling of inadequacy maybe? Wanting to feel special? Feelings of unworthiness? We've all felt it, we've all lived with it. But should we allow insecurities to rule how we interact and perceive others? Especially if our track record isn't as clean as we want others to be...
Is it degrading to class someone as a body?
We don't want to know their names, their life story but we want to know how many bodies. Our world is full of sexual exploration, but as soon as someone is tied to you, your sexual exploration is judged, critiqued, and maybe, not accepted. People will always be more than just a body, they add to our life experiences, whether people like it or not. With that being said, the number of people we sleep with should never be indicative of ANYTHING. To just label people a "body" is possibly one of the most dehumanising things we can do to someone. "I had sex with you, you're now another body I have slept with". We're too comfortable with dehumanising people, making them out to be a piece of meat we used at one point in our life. People are more than bodies and should be treated as such. Body count was never important before, so why now? It's very evident that body count is nothing more than a whore scale and maybe for men, a dick swinging competition. But nothing more, and nothing less. So, if I must conclude with a valid point to end this debate. Our only concern should really be what has this person learnt from their sexual experience and do they have an STI, and if you do have a preference of body counts, don't be a hypocrite about it.
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